A profound quote I love and would preface this piece with is a quote from Dr. Miles Monroe, he said “when the purpose of a thing is unknown, abuse is inevitable”.
This is true with perhaps everything in life when we don’t have clarity, without a clear direction on any journey or goal we get frustrated and fail to achieve it. This is exactly the case with everyone who has said they were or are looking for true love.
You don’t know what Love truly is/means.
You haven’t found true love because you truly don’t know what exactly you are looking for, this is why you are frustrated with all the efforts you put in with all the men you have met hoping were the one. Your idea of what love is, is most likely influenced by general societal beliefs, which is often times wrong.
Is the idea of true love real, yes. If it is real and exists then it can be found. I will show you how to find it with certainty.
Comparisons and Misconceptions
Consider this, if you had to go to an event, you have the address, feed it to your preferred maps app, it would plot out your routes, you’d get there because all the variables are met. Now, consider the opposite of this same scenario. Incorrect or no address, no gps map? Your drive would be frustrating, you may not find your destination.
This is what trying to find the right person looks and feels like.
WHAT people say love is, WHY it fails.
Common societal concepts of what true love is doesn’t help you either, the expectations are unrealistic. Seemingly perfect male construct- tall, dark, hansome, rubbish! Good job, a car, a house, romantic dinners, roses, beautiful, scenic views, etc. While these are good, they are the fruits, not the tree, and certainly not the seed.
What is love?
What, then, exactly, is love or true love. Let me tell you first what it is not. Love is not a feeling, a passionate desire, it is not sex or money, this list could go on, add everything you can, I dare say it is not any of it, why? Because…
Love is a combination of EVERYTHING GOOD. Yes, you’re not necessarily wrong when you defined it but your definition was incomplete. The reason people fail to find true love is because most people fail to exhibit every good virtue in existence.
This is impossible to achieve, does this mean that we could never find true love, no. You will, but you need all the right information, first, what it is, which I just told you. Then, how to find it, this, I am about to tell you.
The approach to true love should be with humility, understanding that it is possible but requires time to achieve and therefore effort and sacrifice. All good virtues take time to develop. So, what should happen is, you find someone with some good character, after identifying these, you CHOOSE to build a life of love (a continuous journey of growth in other good virtues) with this person.
You realize that you are not perfect and neither are they, you both understand this and both support, invest in and enjoy growing together. Love is a combination of all good character/virtues, impossible to find in one person but possible to develop over time with/in the right person. True love is a journey of growth with the right person.
Proof that mine works.
I have been married to my wife for six years knowing and applying all I have written here and we will be married until death, our marriage has been a beautiful journey of ups and downs. She is not perfect, neither am I. We grow together, helping each others weaknesses, focusing on our strengths, constantly reminding ourselves that this is a journey of love, to love forever.
HOW to find and stay in real love?
To find true love you must first understand that it is not just one thing, it is a combination of every good virtue you can think of. Then you must be humble, accept that you are not perfect, therefore, your ‘true love’ that you seek is not perfect either. When you meet someone with enough good virtues to build a life of love with, you decide to grow together, you choose this ‘one’ person in spite of their imperfections – this is how you stay in love.
Finally…
This is an unpopular opinion, I know, but it works for me and I’m dying on this hill because I know that if it was easy everyone would be in love. Just like everyone would be rich if everyone knew or implemented the ‘secrets’ to wealth (there is no secret, people just don’t do the boring, difficult things).
I will be sharing my journey of love with everyone, follow me for more. I have a list of 100 problems why relationships and love fails and I have answers to all these problems and want to share my success with you.
