“There are no more good men, good men are hard to find.”
This is a very common expression among women everywhere in the world and I have often wondered why. I understand why they say it and during conversations with women/girls sometimes, I have said it too and have also said the opposite, that “there are good men, you just don’t know where to and how to find them.”
I believe the latter to be true.
Are there really no more good men? Or is it that women can’t find good men amongst the people they meet? To answer all these correctly and also correct this misconception I will attempt to define a ‘good man’ first.
Who exactly is a good man? Who is a woman actually describing when she refers to ‘good men’? I have heard the following words – kind, loving, provides, cares, etc. in other words a good man is one with good morals and expresses this character naturally, genuinely and without fear.
Are there no good men, then?
Going by our definition of a good man, men with good morals surely exist. So, there are good men available. You probably don’t know where or how to find them. If good men exist and are available, where are they?
Consider the popular saying “to do the same thing over and again and expect a different result is the definition of insanity” in other words, we can’t solve our problems with the same mindset that created the problem. We need to try different methods if the old/usual way isn’t working.
The problem
Putting all men in the same box, this mindset will prevent you from seeing the ‘good men’ even when they are right in front of you. Also, not having the skills to find good men where you are located or where you are searching or have positioned yourself.
Another problem is the beliefs and societal expectations you have inherited. Are you waiting and hoping to be found/discovered by good men or are you willing to break societal rules? Are you willing to approach a good man when you find him?
Where to find ‘good men’?
The simple truth is that you will find good men everywhere, even online.
How to find and attract a ‘good man’?
It is true that you attract what you focus your energy on, positive thoughts will produce positive results and negative thought will produce negative results if these thoughts are supported with corresponding actions.
In other words, to find a good man, you need to imagine this person. We have already defined who he is. Therefore, consciously identify him wherever you are (even online via your conversations), take action if he does not. Most good men will act accordingly, if not, be bold, make the first move.
You will attract who/what you are.
Good men exist everywhere, don’t be afraid to talk to him when you see him, some men are scared to approach or talk to women, this doesn’t make them less good or less men, just a human who’s still developing.
Finding a good man doesn’t just happen by sitting around and waiting. It means being open to meeting new people, and sometimes, being brave enough to approach someone first. Remember, some guys might be too shy to make the first move, but that doesn’t mean they’re not worth getting to know.
So, keep your eyes open, stay positive, and don’t be afraid to take a chance on someone. Good men aren’t as rare as they seem; we just need to be ready to meet them halfway.
